Aside from some awkward sentence syntax at points, I found it a very good and fun read!

I think it actually serves as a pretty good "translator" from general Wicca to Omnimancy. Sometimes it came off a lot more personally significant than it would be say, specific to the greater Wiccan community, but then, whenever you have a member of a tradition writing about their tradition from a general standpoint, you're going to have some level of that.
Can't wait to see the psion and Chaote ones though, since those are traditions I'm a lot more familiar with the intricacies of than modern Wicca.
(And in case anyone misinterprets my mention of sentence syntax, I'm not making a snipey comment or anything of the sort-- I'm just saying that at points the capitalization of certain words or the way sentences are setup is confusing or inaesthetically pleasing to ME. This is in no way a reflection of the greater public and thus, for the most part inconsequential as far as how I view the translation job.)
EDIT: I also just remembered that this was indeed excerpted from a book about someone's personal spiritual journey, and thus that makes the fact that I saw points where it "came off a lot more personally significant than it would be say, specific to the greater Wiccan community" a lot more understandable too, haha. Still a good read and a good 'translation' though.