LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Newbies and ancient ones! Incarnates and disincarnates! Living, dead, zombified, AIs, MIs, visitors, guests, Omnimancers! Allow me to present to you the culmination of years of hard work and determination! Allow me to astound, amaze, and mystify you! Allow me to show you a good time and probably get you laid!
In short, allow me to WORK THE ROOM LIKE A CRACK-STARVED POLITICIAN CONVINCED THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HAS A COUPLE OF GRAMS HIDDEN IN HIS OR HER WALLETS. Let me BEG, PLEAD, CRY, THREATEN, BRIBE, COERCE, and otherwise convince you that what you should do RIGHT NOW - no, not in a few days, not next week, but RIGHT NOW, as soon as you finish reading this:
Go to www.evenfalsethingsaretrue.com/cmo/tickets.html, and BUY YOUR TICKET, that's right, BUY YOUR TICKET to the one, the only, the incredible, the amazing JEFF MACH'S CULT MOVIE OVERNIGHT - also called "JEFF FEST"!!!!
WHY should you do this? First off, if you HAVEN'T been, ask anyone at this board who HAS - it's INCREDIBLE. I do say so myself, yes, and I deserve to! Folks, we're talking 13+ hours of live performances by unusual and kickass musicians - Including, folks, YOURS TRULY, in a rare live performance of excerpts from his new ROCK OPERA, tentatively titled Hot, Throbbing Evil - about dark mages and the sacrificial altar girls who love them; off-off Broadway theatre; unusual art exhibitions; vendors of weapons, leather goods, rune readings, and a wide variety of stuff you won't find at your local mall; The Rocky Horror Ritual Show, which anyone will tell you is like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, only better...
...and if you HAVE gone before, folks, the event this year looks like it's going to be STUNNING. Moving it near Philly was a gutsy chance to take, if I do say so myself - but it looks like it's paying off. We've still got the full complement of New York and New Jersey freaks, including my odd and twisted Greenwich Village contingent, the leatherpeople, and that strange, sweet little orthodox Jew, Danny, who wanders around with the long hair and the smile...
...but now we've got a WHOLE NEW contingent of South Street and other PHILLY FREAKS...and kids, I'm just gonna say five words, and leave it there:
BARELY DRESSED PHILADELPHIA GOTH CHICKS.
Kids. Pause for a moment in reading. Go to www.evenfalsethingsaretrue.com/cmo/tickets.html. Buy your tickets. I gotta eat.
And beyond...
Well, friends, I could try to make (those of you with consciences) guilty by saying: Hey. Right now, this is my only source of income. My web hosting company made an incredibly bad choice in server farms (I WILL lay forth the blood and souls of the employees of www.voxel.com, curse them and crush them!) - and my hosting has been screwed for the past 6 months. Since 95% of my clients host with me, and all of them identify my "hosting company" with the rest of my business... it's hurt my business a LOT. And contrary to what El Presidente says, the economy SUCKS - so say all of my clients, who are currently broke. I may have a viable web business in a few months...I sure don't now.
But no...no, that's not why I'm going to ask you to visit www.evenfalsethingsaretrue.com/cmo/tickets.html and Paypal in your order of a ticket + dinner (You don't want to miss dinner. Not only will it be good, not only am I actually taking a slight loss on each dinner sold to bring that meal to you...it's also an amazing, fun chunk of downtime to socialize with other weirdos) - I'm not asking you to do it for me.
I'm asking you to do it for our beloved Arthur, and our beloved Amy, and the yet-unnamed boy-demon even now growing in the Moyer home.
Because friends, it's crunchtime for Rank: Warmaster. And I'm trying to help - I've been trying, and I even have helped, some. And I hear you say, "But, Jeff, you're going to be putting as much time into the Overnight as the web business. How will you have time?" And the answer is, no, while I plan to work my ass off for the Overnight, there's two big differences. First, my server company has gone so far to hell that it shouldn't be called a server company. That was a crisis I had no reason to expect. Neither did they. Six years of uptime and growth...now their business has lost 40% of its revenue and a lot of credibility. Same here.
Second...the Overnight actually DOES bring money in. That's the other reason I've been scrambling - I've had no way to pay my damn bills. When the phone company's gonna shut me off in three days, I HAVE to run around and work, not my usual 12-14 hour days, but 16-18 hour days, to find some way to make that money.
The Overnight, unlike the US economy, works.
So I'll actually be able to DO all the things I'd like to do. Like help out Rank: Warmaster. Like be a better (less impossible to reach) friend. Like come to magic night. Like eat sometimes (thanks again for covering me at lunch the other day, Rich. You're a prince. A warrior-prince, I'll specify, not one of those "sit around all day playing polo and arguing with the Queen Mum" princes - no offense to any Brits out there. Ever read "The Queen And I", by Sue Townshend? Great book.
Right! Sorry! Where was I?...
...folks. Go paypal in some cash for a ticket, if you have the money. Or send me a check, if you can send it soon. Or pay me on magic night. Go ahead. Email me. Make me bribe you. Make me write you poetry, babysit your kids, destroy your enemies with an unholy rain of white fire (yes, you advanced students don't need it, but newbies, this is your chance!)
Go forth. Buy tickets.
I love you all.
-JM
You should definitely go - for the Omnimancy demo, if nothing else. 
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest